In this blog post, we will look back on the loss, regret, and meaning of existence that we face through the death of our beloved pet.
I’ve loved animals since I was a child. I loved animals not just because they were cute, but because of the mystery and awe of life. As a result, I’ve kept everything from 500 won chicks to hamsters, goldfish, rabbits, and dogs that I’ve sold in front of school.
I first met ‘Popcorn’ when I was in the fifth grade of elementary school. After I begged and pleaded with my parents to let me have a puppy, they finally agreed on the condition that I study hard and take full responsibility for raising the puppy. That’s how I ended up raising ‘Popcorn’ from 2003. However, before we could get to know him, ‘Popcorn’ contracted pneumonia. Pneumonia is a dangerous disease for dogs, so even the hospital was not sure that he would survive, but he was eventually hospitalized and treated. After visiting the hospital every day to take care of him, he gradually recovered and was eventually discharged. After that, ‘Popcorn’ lived with us.
‘Popcorn’ was energetic and active, just like a ‘Bichon Frise’ dog, which is known as a devil dog. At home, he would run around and play with a toy once a day. He liked to play fetch, running after the toy and then coming back to fetch it. He would do this over and over again, never getting tired of it. Of course, I liked going for walks, but it was really hard because I would run around until I was exhausted. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much time to take them for walks because they were in middle and high school. So I took them out for a walk once a week.
The lifespan of a dog is about 15 years. It is said that one year is about seven years for a dog. As I grew from a child to an adult, ‘Popcorn’ grew from a puppy to an old dog. When I was in my third year of high school and the College Scholastic Ability Test was just around the corner, I went out for a walk as usual and came back. However, even after I got home and took a shower, I continued to gasp for several hours. I had been out of breath for a while, probably due to the aftereffects of pneumonia when I was a child, but I had never struggled for so long. Eventually, I went to the hospital, had an X-ray, and received a medical examination. The veterinarian said it was because of the pneumonia I had when I was a child. She was fine when she was young, but as she got older, she started to have problems. After that, unfortunately, I couldn’t take her for walks. ‘Popcorn’ still wanted to go out and spent more time looking out the window.
While I took the college entrance exam, went to college, and served in the military, ‘Popcorn’ got older and older. She started sleeping more and getting sick more often. When I first started raising chickens, I didn’t think about death, but gradually I started thinking about it. Death comes to everyone. No matter how rich and famous a person is, they cannot escape death. Qin Shi Huang, who unified China, searched the world for immortality, but in the end, he could not escape death. In modern times, with the development of medicine, death can be postponed, but in the end, death comes to everyone.
Such a time came to ‘Popcorn’ as well. It was a normal day in July 2015. ‘Popcorn’ woke up in the morning, went to the bathroom, and everything was normal. Then, he suddenly collapsed and was rushed to the hospital, but it was already too late. I knew that such a day would come for Popcorn, as she was an old dog, but it was too sudden. Popcorn, who had been coming into my room every day to wake me up for over 10 years and who greeted me more warmly than anyone else whenever I came home, is no longer with us. I was filled with tears at the thought that I would never see her again. All I could do was regret that I should have given her something delicious and made her more beautiful yesterday if I had known this would happen.
Even at this very moment, someone somewhere is facing death. However, the meaning of that death is different for each individual. It depends on the relationship with the deceased. The sadness and meaning vary depending on how close the deceased was to the bereaved and how important they were to the bereaved. This is because death is the end of interaction and relationships. The deceased no longer exists. The absence of this, which was so natural and familiar, is something that I will never see again, and I feel sad. Perhaps I even feel regret. I regret not doing a better job because I didn’t think the end was coming.
The various emotions felt through death make us realize the preciousness of the present. If we have loved and treated others well, we will feel less regret in the sadness after death. No one can avoid death. In the end, some sadness is inevitable. Therefore, if we feel the preciousness of those around us and do our best, we can minimize our sadness.
No matter how much you think about death, the sense of loss and deprivation when you actually face it is great. The absence of a close relative is especially felt more strongly. However, it is not all negative. Ironically, there are many things that can be felt because of death. Why don’t you think about death at least once?
