In this blog post, I will talk about the inner conflict I faced while thinking about my career path and the true meaning of happiness and honesty that I realized in the process of being honest with myself.
As the university application period approached, I had to prepare for various selection processes and write a self-introduction letter. Even though I was busy studying for my school exams and mock tests, I tried my best to devote sufficient time and effort to my self-introduction letter. Through this process, I had the opportunity to think deeply about the path I wanted to take in life. Until then, like most students, I had only vague plans in my head. “I will study hard, get into a good university, become a great doctor who treats patients, and live a meaningful life.” I was working hard every day, but my destination was becoming increasingly unclear.
When I thought about it calmly, I wondered if the goal I was dreaming of was truly mine. I wondered if I would really feel satisfied and happy as a doctor, and if I truly wanted to treat patients and study diseases. In choosing a career, I had always prioritized the enjoyment and fulfillment I would get from my work, but I wondered if this was really what I wanted.
I believe that living an honest life is very important. In particular, it is even more important to be honest with yourself and have a righteous attitude. It is difficult to accept yourself without deception. However, it is important to honestly acknowledge what you truly want and have the will to put it into practice. I believe that being honest with yourself is a great virtue.
However, I wonder if living honestly always guarantees happiness. Some people seem to feel comfortable and at ease even when they are deceiving themselves. But can the happiness gained through such compromises be called true happiness? Deceiving oneself moment by moment to meet the expectations of others may provide temporary relief. However, I believe that happiness is a state of continuous satisfaction and joy. It is impossible to deceive oneself forever, and it is also impossible to deceive others completely. Therefore, by being honest with ourselves about our desires and true goals, we can feel true happiness, and that is when the true value of honesty is revealed.
In this regard, I felt ashamed of myself for thinking that I had been dreaming of what I truly wanted to do. Of course, the rewards of being a doctor are clear. However, I realized that I needed to reflect on my unwillingness to be honest about why I chose to become a doctor. I remember trying to ignore the fact that, in addition to pure professional satisfaction, social and economic reasons had always been factors in my decision. I still need to resolve the issue of why I told myself that I wanted to become a doctor simply for professional fulfillment and happiness.
I thought carefully about each of my reasons for wanting to become a doctor. In addition to the satisfaction I feel when treating patients and the intellectual curiosity I satisfy through research, there were other reasons, such as the financial stability of the profession and the pride of doing important work that involves saving lives. Once I was honest with myself, I realized that there were many reasons that I had been hiding even from myself. Being honest allowed me to work harder and achieve good results.
Since then, I have been trying to be honest with myself little by little. When I calmly thought about what I really wanted to do and why, my mind became clear and my heart felt lighter. I am still trying to be honest with myself. I believe that being honest with myself and being able to convey my feelings to others will motivate me to work even harder in the future.
Honesty goes beyond a simple moral value; it alleviates self-doubt and anxiety. It adds freshness and ease to life. I am still working on it. I will be honest not only as a doctor, but also about my thoughts and feelings as they arise. I will continue to work hard to become a person who can trust myself more.
