In this blog post, as I approach graduation, I’d like to reflect on my current self across various areas of life and, using the concept of the “possible self,” think specifically about the kind of person I want to become in the future.

Introduction

I have less than two months left until I graduate from college. Up until now, I’ve been so preoccupied with solving the immediate tasks and concerns right in front of me that I haven’t taken the time to calmly reflect on my life as a whole or my future. Therefore, I’ve decided to use this opportunity to more seriously examine and organize my thoughts on “my future self”—which is currently my biggest concern and one I’ll continue to grapple with for the rest of my life—and to write a post that will help me set my life goals moving forward. In the process, I was reminded of the concepts of self-identity and the “possible self,” which I had come across in an article some time ago. The “possible self” is a concept proposed by Markus in 1986; it is based on the theory that one can change one’s lifestyle by assessing one’s current state across various aspects deemed important in life and selecting a positive future self.
The formation of self-identity is a self-development task that spans one’s entire life. To develop a mature sense of identity between the ideal self and the real self, constant exploration and effort are required; however, I currently lack a clear understanding of what my ideal self looks like—the very image that could serve as the fundamental motivation for that exploration and effort. The concept of the “possible self” used here involves self-assessment on a 5-point scale to clearly evaluate one’s current position and set goals for the future, thereby gaining a more objective understanding of oneself and assigning a score to the desired version of oneself. Therefore, in this article, I aim to take a step closer to my future self by diagnosing and analyzing my possible self across various dimensions.

Possible Self in the Emotional Domain

The items that currently make up the largest portion of my emotions are “degree of happiness” and “self-confidence.” While it is difficult to accurately gauge the intensity of emotions, if I first consider my current level of happiness, I find myself in a neutral state—neither very happy nor particularly unhappy. In a way, one might pessimistically view this as a dull, unfulfilling state where I don’t feel happiness—which is arguably the most essential element of one’s self—but I certainly do not feel unhappy. My financial situation, which is a key factor in determining happiness, is somewhat difficult; however, as long as I curb my desires and live frugally, I don’t have to worry about making ends meet day to day. Moreover, setting aside financial concerns, I am surrounded by good people, including my family. However, it seems I am unable to feel small moments of happiness due to my many worries about the future. My “possible self” for the future is, of course, a “happy me”—as it is for everyone.
For me, becoming a “happy me” seems achievable by finding a stable and fulfilling job that allows me to escape my current difficult financial situation. Honestly, since childhood, my family’s financial difficulties have taken root within me as a latent form of unhappiness. Of course, I was taught to curb my desires and find happiness in what I already have, but since financial hardship creates a sense of instability about my future life, economic prosperity seems inevitable for my happy future. I also want to gain psychological stability through deeper emotional bonds with the people around me. I realize this may differ somewhat from the conventional ideal ways of achieving happiness, but I believe it is the solution that addresses my specific personal circumstances.
Next, when I reflect on my level of “self-confidence,” I’d rate it at about 2 to 3 out of 5. This is because, while I am lively and sociable when with close friends, I tend to be somewhat withdrawn in unfamiliar situations or when meeting people for the first time. Although this is a slightly different kind of confidence, even when working on assignments or studying for exams, I feel a bit anxious about work I’ve done alone; I only feel at ease after comparing answers with friends or gathering enough notes to satisfy myself. In this area, I hope my “possible self” would reach about 4.5 points. Since I feel my self-belief is somewhat lacking at the moment, I need to approach everything with greater passion and build a solid foundation so that I can come to trust myself.
However, excessive confidence can lead to arrogance. Even if my confidence grows, that is not the kind of person I want to become; therefore, I believe the ideal approach is to cultivate more confidence than I have now while always maintaining a humble attitude.

“Possible Self” in Communication Skills

Until now, I have lived under the protection of my parents and school as a student. However, from now on, I will have to go out into society and live on my own. Therefore, I believe it is necessary to reflect on my current standing regarding the communication skills I consider most essential for social life—namely, the ability to speak in front of an audience and the ability to listen to others’ opinions.
Among my current communication skills, I feel my speaking ability is somewhat lacking. This is also linked to my confidence; my somewhat timid personality, combined with a fear of criticism, tends to prevent me from confidently forming and expressing my own opinions. Similar to the criteria I used to evaluate my confidence, I rate my speaking and decision-making abilities at about 2 to 3 out of 5 at present, but I believe a score of 4.5 would be appropriate for my “possible self.” Just as excessive confidence can lead to misunderstandings and deception, my goal is to articulate what needs to be said in a well-reasoned manner, as such outcomes represent a version of myself I do not wish to become. Conversely, I do not currently consider my ability to listen to others to be significantly lacking. However, to facilitate smoother communication, I intend to practice “responsive listening”—a technique that involves quickly grasping the other person’s core intent and confirming it as we converse.
In other words, I will work toward achieving my “possible self” in terms of self-expression by practicing active speaking, actively participating in presentations and discussions, and demonstrating an attitude that identifies and respects the other person’s core intent.

“Possible Self” in Career Choice

I am currently a college student, and due to the nature of my undergraduate program, I have studied by broadly exploring various majors rather than acquiring specialized knowledge in a single field. The Department of Earth and Environmental Systems Engineering offered a wide range of majors spanning civil engineering, natural resources, and environmental studies. Consequently, the undergraduate program was designed to provide a broad exposure to multiple fields rather than in-depth study of a single major, with specialized, advanced study typically pursued in graduate school. Therefore, even now as a senior, I have not yet acquired sufficient specialized knowledge in any one field and am currently grappling with significant uncertainty regarding my future career choice.
In terms of my career, my “possible self” is to become a leading expert in a specific field. This does not simply mean becoming the best academically, but rather striving to be a professional who prioritizes social responsibility and the public good. Therefore, my “ideal self” is a professor or a high-ranking government official. My area of interest is the resource sector; given that South Korea has very few natural resources of its own, I believe that the development and securing of overseas mineral resources is a critical issue that could determine the nation’s future strength. Among the majors I pursued as an undergraduate, this field has significant social impact and is essential to the national economy; however, I believe its importance was not sufficiently recognized in South Korea at the time. Given that the importance of energy and resource security will continue to grow, I believe developing expertise in this field could be a meaningful career path.
To move closer to my “possible self” as an expert in this academic field, building up my specialized knowledge is paramount. I am particularly interested in petroleum and minerals; however, since these disciplines are primarily active in Europe and the United States, I will need to overcome language barriers as I pursue my studies. To achieve this, I plan to continue studying English alongside my coursework and eventually enroll in graduate school. After completing my master’s degree, I plan to join a public institution related to resources and energy—such as the Korea National Oil Corporation (KNOC) or the Korea Mine Reclamation and Mining Corporation—to build expertise, or, given that this is a field rooted in foreign academia, to pursue further in-depth study through overseas study. Currently, KNOC carries out operations such as oil development and stockpiling, and continues to engage in exploration, development, production, and the identification of new business opportunities overseas.

Possible Self in the Realm of Relationships

Having previously considered my “possible self” in terms of personal emotions, abilities, and career, it is also essential to consider my “possible self” in the realm of relationships—what could be called social life. Throughout one’s life, people form various relationships—with parents and an older sister, with whom they maintain the closest bonds, as well as with friends—and I believe that only by gaining a strong sense of connection and stability within these relationships can one lead a fulfilling personal life. When I reflect on my current relationship with my family, although we live far apart and cannot meet often—leaving us with little choice but to check in with each other over the phone about once a day—I maintain active emotional communication with my mother and older sister. I believe we are fostering a positive family dynamic by discussing difficult issues together, sharing our concerns, and offering mutual encouragement. While I used to have some communication difficulties with my father, our relationship has been improving recently through sincere conversations.
These positively formed family relationships seem to be the driving force that allows me to live each day with a positive outlook, despite our somewhat difficult financial situation. I must continue to maintain a relationship where we can rely on one another.
The relationships that need improvement seem to be with my friends rather than my family. Since I live far from my family, I need to share my concerns with the friends I spend my school days with, but I don’t seem to have formed broad or deep personal relationships yet. Currently, my social circle at school revolves around the soccer team, which consists of seniors and juniors from my department; even within the same department, there is a gap of two to three academic years between us, and I don’t know people well unless they’re on the soccer team. Although there is lively emotional exchange and a strong sense of camaraderie among the soccer team members, when I consider the many departments and people on campus—including those who aren’t students at Seoul National University—it feels somewhat regrettable to limit my social network solely to the soccer team. I think the reason for this lies in my narrow range of interests. There are many other academic and constructive groups, but when I first enrolled, my interests were limited to my department and the soccer club. I think I need to start taking an interest in and participating in a variety of groups from now on. I should also participate in activities—such as English study groups or rural volunteer work—that are meaningful and allow me to meet many people. Furthermore, I need to build relationships where I can pour out my heart and receive sincere advice when times are tough. While it’s certainly difficult to quantify the breadth and depth of my social network, I’d rate it at about 2.5 out of 5 points right now, and I hope my future “possible self” will reach closer to 5 points. Rather than simply “knowing” many people, I want to have many relationships where we are “fans of each other” and can feel a deep psychological bond.

In Conclusion

So far, I’ve seriously reflected on my current position and my “possible self” across various areas of life. I’ve always thought I knew myself well, but I’d never quantified it like this or assessed exactly where I stand in specific areas. This opportunity allowed me to evaluate myself a bit more objectively, establish a positive model, and even consider practical steps to move toward that model, which I found very meaningful.
I set a “possible self” for each of the areas—emotions, abilities, career, and relationships—and explored ways to move toward them in a positive direction, but I believe that the true foundation for making this a reality lies in overcoming “laziness.”
The very act of inaction can lead to negative outcomes. While it may indeed be a form of happiness to simply be content with and go with the flow of everything currently given to me, I believe that a person who truly pursues happiness is one who, once they identify areas where they feel something is lacking and have goals they wish to achieve, strives to improve. Therefore, I feel I must break free from the laziness that’s holding me back.
I realize that I might be turning away from opportunities—opportunities whose arrival I cannot predict—simply because I find it too much trouble. I feel I need to start thinking and taking action right now—for the sake of my positive, ideal self.